Is My Vajayjay Broken?

Vaginismus. Not a dinner time topic, and one not often discussed, yet it is thought to affect about 17% of woman. “We have done over 10 000 sexual pain consultations at My Sexual Health”, says Dr Rudolph. This is a staggering number!

You may have recently heard term as Netflix has had two series broach the subject of vaginismus. ‘Sex Education’ and ‘Unorthodox’ both have pushed the envelope in highlighting women’s sexual health and opened the discussion.

“One in five women have pain during sex” states Dr Rudolph, “this is not normal“. Shocking right? “Vaginismus is sexual pain, associated with muscle spasms and a fear of penetration”. 

We wanted to give you holistic perspectives on the topic, as most articles on the subject are very clinical. We brought in experts to help from a medical background, providing a two part series on this topic. Covering the why, what and how in this article.

THE UNHEARD OF AFFLICTION

We asked advice of women, who are experts in the field, to bring you the most comprehensive and up-to-date information.

Dr Elna Rudolph, clinical head at My Sexual Health (the largest team of sexual healthcare providers in South Africa). She is both a medical doctor specialising in woman’s sexual health and a sexologist. Hester Aswegen physiotherapist whose speciality is pelvic floor dysfunction and ante- and postnatal physio.

One of the main reasons why women suffer with sexual pain for as long as they do is because doctors don’t get the training needed to even diagnose or refer woman on for treatment. Sadly, a huge percentage of women never get diagnosed. Dr Rudolph reiterates “I always tell doctors that if they don’t have the knowledge about what is causing a woman’s sexual pain in their head, don’t tell her that it is in her head!”

And honestly that is what women frequently get told. The other option often given is a hymenectomy – surgery to make the vaginal opening larger! Often there is nothing wrong with the vaginal opening. Tragically, this story is not uncommon.

THE REAL LIFE IMPACT

At 24 years old, I got married. I could never insert a tampon and never knew why. I was assured by my mother that it would get easier when I got married. Penetration was impossible! Our marriage was eventually consummated through great difficulty and immense pain. To say the honeymoon was a disaster would be an understatement. My husband felt rejected, while I felt guilty at being unable to satisfy him. It placed a huge burden and strain on both of us.

I had become emotionally worn to a point where I would cringe every time my husband came near me, anticipating the pain. I was determined to resolve this. Our GP was clueless as to where to start with all this. Her advise was, ‘Just try and relax’.

Deflated, I then went to a gynecologist thinking that she would have all the answers, being a woman in this field. She booked me in for a hymenectomy which I did not need. The pain continued, making me feel like a complete failure.

Years later I found the courage to try seek help again after realising that my marriage was hanging in the balance and I could not take the weight of mentally preparing myself for the pain I had to go through to satisfy my husband.

“It can be very hard on relationships as the woman will often avoid sex due to the pain and the partner often doesn’t understand this.” Aswegen says. “Some women are too ashamed to talk to their partners. They feel it’s their fault, especially if they have been misdiagnosed, or they haven’t found the right doctor to help them and have been told they must just relax.”

RELATIONSHIP STRAIN

After the hymenectomy, I attempted to get a second opinion from a renowned Gynaecologist, but sadly the outcome was the same. Another surgery, no answers, more pain and more strain on my psychological, emotional and physical wellbeing. I came to the point of such desperation that I thought that it would be easier if my husband just went and had an affair.

As tragic as this is, it is not uncommon. “Many women continue to have sex, although it is painful, for years and years. They don’t know that there is help or they have asked for help and it did not work.  We do a lot to try and get the message out that there is help!” says Dr Rodolph.

“We often recommend counselling both for the individual as well as the couple to help them”, Aswegen adds.

UNHEALTHY MISCONCEPTIONS

There are unfortunately many misconceptions around Vaginismus, because it never spoken about. Aswegen stresses, “People don’t admit to sexual problems and therefore feel very alone and that nothing can be done about it. This can lead to a huge amount of emotional and psychological trauma.”

Here are some of the misconceptions:

  • The problem is in your head
  • All you need to do is relax
  • You too uptight or stressed – have some wine to loosen up
  • Change you position, you are doing it wrong
  • Is it that you don’t find me attractive sexually as a partner?

But here is the thing: women who suffer from vaginismus do get sexually aroused. They have normal wants and needs. Aswegen adds, “It is so important to explain to women that this is a physical condition where the muscles are too tight and they often have an unregulated nervous system or other factors like stress.”

Dr Rudolph goes on to add, “The most common cause is actually a strict religious upbringing.  Of course, one always has to ask about sexual abuse, but in our clinic it is less than in the general population.  Exposure to a traumatic examination or procedure, such as getting a urinary catheter inserted as a child, or a gynaecological examination of a young woman, might cause it.  There is a genetic link also and then medical conditions like provoked vestibulodynia or many other medical causes of sexual pain can cause vaginismus, including going into menopause or having gynaecological surgery.”

SOLVING THE VAGINISMUS RIDDLE

I asked Dr Roudolph why is there such a lack of knowledge in the medical field, regarding vaginismus.

 “We just didn’t have good training in sexual pain in South Africa up until now.  Everything I know about it I learned overseas.  I have 6 hour training program in sexual pain that doctors can do online now – that will help them diagnose and treat almost all forms of sexual pain.”

The different classes of Vaginismus according to Lamont Classification of Degrees (1976)

  • 1st degree vaginismus slight tightness of the pelvic floor, with reassurance and the patient could relax for her examination.
  • 2nd degree vaginismus, generalized tightness of the pelvic floor, the patient cannot relax but allows examination.
  • 3rd degree vaginismus, the pelvic floor spasm is severe that the patient lifts her buttocks off the bed and cannot be examined.
  • 4th degree vaginismus, the most severe tightness and fear, patient tightly closing the knees to prevent any examination.
  • 5th degree vaginismus a complete physical, psychological and physiological reaction -Increased heart rate, palpitations, hyperventilation, trembling, shaking, nausea or vomiting, crying uncontrollably, a feeling of light headedness and fainting, a desire to jump off the table, run away.

VAGINISMUS IS 100% CURABLE

If we could get one message across in this article, it’s that there is so much that can be done about sexual pain and that woman are not alone. Aswegen says, “The goal is to achieve good relaxation of the pelvic floor to allow for pain free sex. Additionally, normal function of the pelvic floor so that there are no other problems with the bladder or bowel either.” She goes on to say, “We want to teach women to have control over their bodies and give them the tools to manage the condition. For some it is once-off and for others they might need to manage it for the rest of their lives.”

Team Beauty Warriors had to ask the big question. Can woman who suffer from Vaginismus achieve a healthy sex life?

“Yes absolutely. Vaginismus can be overcome completely with the correct management and normal pain-free intercourse can be achieved,” Aswegen replied with great confidence. She went on to say “Vaginismus is curable. 100 % curable.”

Dr Rudloph ended off by saying, “Women have to see themselves as being equal to men and claim their right to sexual pleasure. It is theirs for the taking!”

Don’t miss our next article on vaginismus, it will include different treatment modalities, at home interventions and medical aesthetics.

Piercings: An Artful Expression

Getting a new piercing? Not sure how many to get? Not a clue on how to care for them?

Love them or hate them, they have become a valid form of artistic expression of the individual in the 21st century.

AESTHETIC ART: EAR CURATION

As early as 10-15 years ago, having any piercing beyond the single piercing through the lobe was still seen as risqué. Treating piercings as an art form has led to the rise of a trend known as “Ear Curation”.

We chatted to Gavin Middleton, a body piercing at Parkhurt’s Black Betty Designs.

Continue reading “Piercings: An Artful Expression”

Event: World Wellness Weekend (19-20 Sept 2020)

Since 2018, Wellness Weekend is an official partner of European Week Of Sports an initiative of the European Commission to encourage people to be more active more often. With half of humanity staying at home, the need to keep fit & flexible in our bodies and in our minds is essential.

“Social distancing” should be replaced by “Physical distancing AND Social proximity” said Susie Ellis.

HOW TO TAKE PART

Choose daily rituals to keep active at home with your family and/or #wellnessbuddies on Facetime, Whatsapp, Messenger, Zoom, Skype. Practice yoga, Pilates, fitness, together for 20 or 30 minutes a day. As we move and have fun together, we can change the chemistry in our bodies: instead of enduring FEAR & STRESS (increasing adrenaline, cortisol and thrombine), release PLEASURE hormones (endorphin, serotonin, ocytocin). Keeping your body and your mind active will strengthen your immune system, boost your morale and help you be more creative & resilient to prepare what comes next as we RESET & RESTART.

Everyone is invited to become their best version: #WellnessForAll #WellnessAtHome #BeActiveAtHome.

Since 2017, World Wellness Weekend has served to raise the global well-being index.

In 2019, 2,356 venues participated in 98 countries, generating 430 stories on TV, radio, print publications & internet, reaching an estimated audience of 224 million people.

19th & 20th September 2020 is an even bigger opportunity to reach even more people in the world, and change lives at the 4th Annual World Wellness Weekend. WWW invites people to enjoy how GREAT it feels to be WELL through fun, educational events in the 5 Pillars of Wellness: SLEEP, NUTRITION, MOVEMENT, MINDFULNESS and SENSE of PURPOSE.

INCLUSIVE FOR EVERYONE

We believe in #WellnessForAll. In association with IHRSA and inspired by the UNESCO Chair, we are reaching out to people with disabilities and special needs. We encourage fitness & spa professionals to use this unprecedented time of confinement to find ways to make their business more accessible to people with disabilities and special needs.

HEALTHCARE PROVIDERS: We believe in #wellnessfornurses #wellnessfordoctors. Doctors & nurses are the first responders waging a war against the virus by testing tens of thousands of people and caring for those already infected.

Healthcare practitioners are notoriously over-worked, on the verge of exhaustion or burn-out. Once the threat of virus propagation diminishes, social distancing is lifted and businesses re-open, Spas, Salons, Fitness clubs, Yoga/Pilates studios are asked to invite nurses & doctors for a special fitness or mindfulness event, or organize a 60-minute wellness workshop in their local hospital or clinic.

INDUSTRY PROFESSIONALS: HOW TO GET INVOLVED:

  1. Get involved as a WWW Supporter. Promote WWW and register quality providers in your city to get on the Wellness Map and host an event during the WWW.
  2. Become a WWW city Ambassador. Gain the support of public officials & tourism bureaus to encourage citizens and tourists to enjoy how great it feels to be well in cities that wish to become Wellness destinations
  3. Organize a Wellness Collective. Align with other service providers to create a wellness lifestyle series or become a wellness street with Spas, beauty salons, yoga studios, holistic providers, wellness cafés, etc

PLEDGE TO BE BETTER

Commit to a personal wellness objective (e.g. Better mental health, reach an ideal weight, exercise more often, be more flexible to increase range of movement and prevent back pain…)

Engage a friend or colleague to become their Wellness Buddy, to join regular fitness or yoga classes, shop at a farmers’ market then cook together.

Resist unhealthy temptations and each week, put money in a « wellness jar » or a piggy bank of the equivalent value of sugary snacks they wanted to buy & eat (but did not) or cigarettes they managed not to buy & smoke. When WWW comes on 19-20 Sept, they will celebrate the achievement of their personal goal, see how much money they have put aside, and will decide to donate it to a local charity or a NGO.

With each WWW Wellness Pledge, not only will two people be able to reach their personal wellness objectives with the help of their respective wellness buddy, but also the money they will save will be donated to people who lack everything: health, clean water, food, education… Each of us can, not only upgrade one’s personal lifestyle and become a better version of themselves, but also touch positively many lives. For instance, R50 may buy a pack of sugary snacks or a pack of cigarettes, or it can feed & school a child in Calcutta for 2 weeks!

Let’s all make a meaningful contribution to improve our lives and someone else’s.

For more information visit their website or contact South African Ambassador, Taryn Lilley at taryn@spadynamics.co.za

Must-Haves for Spring 2020

Spring is upon us!

With lockdown having moved to level 2 and feeling like I have a bit more freedom, there are some new must-have products that we think are essential for Covid living.

THE WHALE KEY

Although pandemic restrictions are slowly easing up, we are still not in the clear. The Whale Key, made by a South African woman, helps minimize contact. The Whale Key has a multi-tool concept that acts as an alternative way to interact with the world. Use it to avoid touching lifts, ATMs, flushing toilets directly. This should be as essential as wearing a mask. In fact if you order a Whale Key now, they will include a free mask with your order.

Beauty Warriors Tip: Pop it on your key chain, handbag loop or simply latch it on your pants loop.

PMD CLEAN ROSE QUARTZ

Maskne is real and is not going away anytime soon! So step up your routine and get your skin glow back with the PMD Clean Pro. It breaks down dirt and oil from within the pores at 7000 vibration per minute while operating at a perfect frequency to lift firm and tone the skin. Patent-pending ActiveWarmth facial massager allows your skincare to activate by assisting with deeper absorption and effectiveness from the combination of SonicGlow and heat. The rose stone quartz consists of elements including magnesium, iron and oxygen, aiding in reducing inflammation and tension.

 EVERBEAUTY MAGNETIC LASHES

We all love full lashes but let’s be honest glue on lashes can be messy and lash extensions can be too pricey for most people. We have the answer- magnetic lashes. Affordable, quick and easy to apply. Additionally they are weatherproof and safer than glue on lashes. They also come in a variety of styles so you can find what works for you.

Beauty Warriors Tip: always ensure that your lids and lashes are clean before applying. Always store back in its original container to get them to last longer. Rubbing your eyes is a no-no as these lashes will go flying.

HEY JUDE MOBILE APP

We had to share this it can change your life, yes your own digital personal assistant. As a tech junkie, I have an app for everything. Finding one by South African developers is even better. Hey Jude promises to be “world’s first human-powered digital assistance service.” After testing it out, I am highly impressed. They could book a dentist appointment on my behalf. I asked them to find a new waterproof dog bed in my area and they responded with shops and prices. In a busy life, this app completely streamlines my planning. So impressive is this app that Nedbank and CellC are both clients of theirs. Available on both IOS and Android, give it a try and let us know what you think.

Nano: Hyper-Intelligent Appointment Scheduling

Hyper Intelligent Appointment Scheduling for Clients and Staff

 ESP Nano Cloud is an easy and efficient scheduling system for you and your team: for a rent-a-chair, mobile practitioner or a salon owner for your intelligently rostered staff. ESP Nano allows your clients and staff to make online bookings via a browser from any internet connected device 24/7, 365.  Then track your progress through the month with daily score-keeping to keep you or your staff on target for prosperity.

But there is more – in Nano you can:

  • Manage price lists
  • Manage staff records,  staff rosters and client lists
  • Setup staff booking item rules
  • Do sales transactions and day end cash up
  • Get reporting and a daily scorecard to track your sales target

Nano Cloud is brought to you by ESP Connected Salon and Spa Computing, the undisputed market leader since 1994.

Watch The Nano Journey here.

ESP Nano launch

For those of you that don’t have an online booking solution, ESP is making the Nano Practitioner system available at no charge to Collective Corporation members at this time to get you up and trading ASAP!

From sign up to getting your details loaded, it takes just 20 minutes to go live.

Call 086 099 4163 or email info@espconnect.africa

Event: WISER Webinars August 2020

When dynamic women come together great things follow. This women’s month is no different. There will be a series of webinars held all in aid of charity. South Africa is in a state of crisis due to the Covid 19 pandemic and with the healthcare sector taking most of the strain. WISER is assisting with the National campaign of raising funds for oxygen concentrators for donation and has partnered with the Lockdown Medical SIM Team to raise awareness and help communities in desperate need. These oxygen concentrators will not only benefit multiple patients and provide hundreds of hours of oxygen, but also be donated AFTER the pandemic to other organisations for oxygen therapy for patients with lung disease. With our public and private health sectors struggling to meet infection demands, the webinar series was planned especially for this cause.

WHO IS W.I.S.E.R?

WISER is not a person, it is a collaborative platform with the sole vision of “giving back” to society. It was conceptualized to expose women to empowering workshops and webinars with the intention to equip & enable them to live their envisioned lives, whilst providing sponsorships & donations towards benefitting our under-privileged sisters with skills and tools for development. WISER was founded with the intention of rallying together diverse women in their professional capacities, influences and experiences to build the legacy of a sisterhood with the hope of having a ripple effect into the next generation of successful women.

In 2019, a successful workshop was hosted by the first collaboration of inspiring women, Candice Abrahams Former Mrs World 2016, Ayesha Rajah, somatologist and Owner of Urbanbliss Spa, Naseera Turkey CEO of Azzuri Capital and Shahista Thokan, Founder of Silver Lining Workshop Facilitation. This year will be slightly different using a virtual platform. Attendees can attend a webinar from the comfort of their own homes and interact with guest speakers.

WISER webinars will be hosted every Sunday morning in August. Tickets are on sale and funds will be donated directly to the identified charity for transparency purposes. The line-up for this 2020 event is nothing short of magnificent and includes Margaret Hirsch, CEO of Hirsch’s group, Unaiza Suliman Founder of  Uniq Brow franchise countywide, Tarina Patel an international actress, model and producer, Dr Sindi van Zyl medical practitioner and talk show host with Kaya Fm and Nafisa Grey, CEO of i4Group. The webinars will be facilitated by Silver Lining Workshop Facilitation. Topics will be vast and informative ranging from discussions on domestic abuse, health & recovery from the virus to business hacks for entrepreneurs. There will be amazing giveaways and opportunities for all women in the upcoming months.

For more information regarding the WISER workshop or donations, kindly email wisercollab@gmail.com or follow the instagram handle @w_i_s_e_r. To contribute  towards the initiative, simply deposit funds to SIM Team using the reference WISER to FNB Account no. 62670927676 Branch 250737.

Dermalogica: Back in Touch

Dermalogica revolutionised the skin care industry when it emerged into the marketplace in 1986 with innovative formulations, which excluded common irritants, including SD alcohol, lanolin, mineral oil and artificial colours and fragrances. Jane Wurwand developed the products to better support the advanced curriculum she had developed a few years earlier for The International Dermal Institute, which she also founded. Wurwand led the company’s growth from an idea to the world’s most-requested professional skin care brand. 

Dermalogica today is sold in more than 80 countries worldwide. 

DERMALOGICA’S CLEAN TOUCH

More than six weeks after the Coronavirus forced business shutdowns around the world, the professional skin care industry in South Africa has reopened, but has followed government Level 4 lockdown restrictions and therefore cannot yet perform skin care treatments. Dermalogica, which advanced the industry in 1983 by providing postgraduate education to licensed Skin Therapists, has taken the lead today, boldly announcing new measures to help salon owners and professional Skin Therapists reopen their businesses with retail sales in line with government legislation where possible, since 1 May 2020. 

Developed in accordance with Dermalogica’s professional-grade standards, and with the safety of staff and consumers as top priority, the new measures include the following steps once government allows skin centers to open for treatments:

  1. Dermalogica Principles for Enhanced Service Safety, a set of directives such as maintaining physical distancing by staggering appointments and limiting entrance; wearing masks in common areas and masks and face shields during treatments; hand sanitization, handwashing, and sterilization; as well as requirements for laundering and retail testers.
  2. Detailed safety protocols that address specific touch-points such as pre-appointment screening; client arrival and departure; retail and common area floor services; treatment room sanitation; protective wear, and more.
  3. Clean Touch Certification, awarded to Skin Therapists who complete free online training on the key principles and enhanced protocols. Upon completion, Skin Therapists will earn a certificate recognising them as Clean Touch Certified, which they can display in their skin center, treatment room, or website. These certificates will also be displayed in Dermalogica concept stores.

 “As science progresses, we will surely need to loosen or tighten the safety precautions,” states Dermalogica Global CEO Aurelian Lis. “What counts is that we have defined the most appropriate steps now so that the industry can embark on the changes necessary to make facial skin care services a reality. With big business focused on digital or sitting it out, Skin Therapists are not willing to give up on the important industry of human touch and connection.” 

 To become Clean Touch Certified, visit: https://www.dermalogica.co.za/safety


Dermalogica products are available in select skin treatment centers on the recommendation of a qualified professional Skin Therapist, in addition to the brand’s concept stores located around the world and online at dermalogica.co.za. Dermalogica is made in the USA, with its global operations based in Carson, just south of Los Angeles. 


The Pursuit of Something Normal: DIY Lockdown Spa Treatment

Here we are: Day 582 of lockdown. I admit, I lost track of the days a while ago in the never-ending cycle of days upon days upon days of samey-ness. Time had become an abstract concept between trying to maintain some sort of work routine, binging Netflix and staring longingly at the street from my kitchen.

I decided I needed to do something to feel normal again. Despite all of this pandemic-imposed me-time, I realised that I had not done anything nice for myself in a while. Normally, my answer to this would be to visit a spa for a facial or massage, but of course this currently remains inaccessible. Not one to be defeated and always up for a challenge, I turned to my kitchen to see how I could DIY my own treatment, using natural ingredients from my food stores.

Open your pores with a nice facial steam

On the stove, bring water to the boil and add in slices of lemon. Additionally, my mint plant outside has been growing out of control, so for good measure, I added in a small handful of leaves. Let it stand to cool down a bit, and then place a towel over your head while letting the steam do it’s magic on your face. Make sure it is not too hot before you do this! 

Steam improves circulation, and will soften your pores, which will allow your facial ingredients to penetrate deeply into the skin to maximise their benefits. It is also very soothing, which is exactly what I want when receiving a facial.

The Oil-Cleansing Method

The oil-cleansing method is something that has been on the rises in the past few years. It seems very counterintuitive to clean your skin with oil, especially if you have oily skin, however it has been proven that oil can be incredibly effective as a cleansing agent for the simple reason that oil dissolves oil. 

To cleanse, use a mix of extra-virgin olive oil and castor oil, mixed as a 1:1 ratio in the palm of your hand and then gently massage it into your skin. Leave it for a minute or two and then remove with a warm damp cloth. Not only will this remove impurities and dead skin, but it is a natural antioxidant that will simultaneously moisturise your skin.

Exfoliating

As a coffee fanatic, I never pass up the opportunity for a hot-brew, and have a close relationship with my Breville espresso machine, but coffee has many benefits too, especially when used on the skin – from anti-aging properties, reduced inflammation, reduction in dark under-eye circles and even a source of Vitamin B3 which reduces the chance of skin cancer. 

To exfoliate my face, I whipped together a scrub consisting of half a cup of fresh grounds, half a cup of granulated brown sugar and about half a cup of coconut oil (be sure to melt it first – I had a terrible time trying to mix in solid pieces of coconut oil). Apply to your skin in circular motions to remove as much dead skin cells as possible without being rough with your skin. Leave it on for a few minutes before washing it off.

Beauty Warriors Tip: Coffee is proven to help the reduction and prevention of cellulite, therefore go wild and use this as a body scrub as well, taking care to massage areas where cellulite is a concern. 

Avocado Mask

Before lockdown began, a friend with an avo tree in her garden gifted me with an abundance of the delicious fruit. Unfortunately, despite my best efforts to eat as many as possible, they were ripening at a rate that I could not keep up with, so it seemed natural to try and include them in my facial. Avo is a popular choice for DIY facials, and of course they are – they are a superfood filled with so many healthy fats which means they are the best natural moisturiser. Continue reading “The Pursuit of Something Normal: DIY Lockdown Spa Treatment”

Autumn Trends 2020

Ahhh, Autumn. The month of all things burnt orange and pumpkin spice. Whilst I would love to sit here and type about all the fab autumn outfits we would be wearing and sharing some fun scarf hacks the reality is our commonly known autumn fashion trends have been transformed in 2020 and the main theme has become all about safety and hygiene.

In our season trends post this month we thought it would be  a good idea to touch on the items and trends you need to adopt into your wardrobe to stay safe when things go back to normal. Well when I say normal, I mean Level 1 at least.

Facial Mask to Safety Mask

The first trend on our list is dominating all social media at the moment, the famous face mask. There has been so much deliberation around if they protect you or not but since our president announced they are mandatory to wear when leaving the house we need to get on board with the trend. 

I have seen such fun creative designs that are making safety look a little trendier. We at Beauty Warriors have decided to shed light on those small brands that are creating and selling masks that can be delivered to your door. There is no better time than now to support not just local, but the small business owner too. Make sure you follow these brands and check out their incredible designs.

Sew Couture: @sewcouturesa

Silver Magpie: @silvermagpieclothing

Moi Clothing Johannesburg: @moi_clothing_johannesburg

The Nail Regrowth Hack

If you are anything like me, your nails look like a hot mess right now and sadly nail polish and gels don’t seem to be on the top of the essentials list at the moment. There are tons of regrowth hacks or even acrylic removal videos (have a look at the one on our IGTV) but a trend that has popped up that we are loving is the trend that disguises your regrowth with a fun colour or even with a sparkly glitter to add some BLING  to your sad manicure. We recommend the Morgan Taylor nail polishes if you have them as they really do have great lasting power and an incredible colour range.

The “Blonde-Bre”

For most of us who’s natural hair colour is a complete illusion, we are having to embrace regrowth like we have a choice about it. I am dying to have my roots touched up like most women but I have a huge feeling that more women are going to be embracing their natural beauty. My biggest Beauty Warrior tip would be to NOT turn to box dying or attempting any kind of colouring on your own at home – wait to visit a professional… But until then, here are a few hair styles we are loving where women are learning to embrace natural colours…

The Latest Buzz!

If waiting for your hair guru to open shop is not an option for you, maybe this is: The Quarantine Buzz Cut is another trend taking social media by storm. Globally, we have been faced with looking at health issues and support of health issues more seriously. Your reason might be donating hair to cancer like one of our favourite South African personalities, Nadia Jafta (@nadiajaftha), or it may be to restore your natural hair state. Recently Vogue launched an online article giving you all the necessary guidelines for the perfect buzz cut. If you are feeling bold and ballsy, maybe this is the self-care solution for you, at least you know that you will be sporting a look that is supported by the likes of Willow Smith and of course how can we forget the gorgeous look sported by Halsy in her “Nighmare” music video.

Skincare is Healthcare

 Ok I get that this may seem like an incredibly broad topic however its extremely important to spend time on YOU and getting into the habit of  a great skincare routine. The majority of local skincare brands are available for online purchasing. Why not indulge in a sheet mask or even complete a FREE online skincare analysis. One of our favourite beauty bloggers and skincare experts – Kiss Blush & Tell offer a comprehensive online skin analysis. I am a true believer in the fact that people tend to neglect their skin due to lack of time to have facials and are unaware of the actual areas of concern when it comes to skincare. This is the time to change that and break the cycle of bad skincare routines once and for all.

Advice at Your Fingertips

 No matter how you want to look at it we are stuck in a crisis and all we can really do is brush up on our self-care ideal. Now, more than ever, beauty bloggers and beauty professionals are taking to social media to share their tips and skills with you in order for you to either master the perfect eye shadow application, get that perfect at home blow wave or make a face mask out of the contents in your fridge. No matter what tip you pick up, use social media as your ultimate beauty resource in these isolated times.

Below we have compiled a list of a few of the beauty bloggers we have been looking to for inspiration and guidance in this department:

@kissblushandtell

@takenbystormbeauty_

@renemakeup_

Thank you for all your continued support throughout this lockdown period. Keep your eyes peeled for all our blog posts to come.

Hit A Dry Spell – Ignite The Fire In You Pt. 1

“Stagnant”, “stuck”, and “monotonous” are words often heard if one is in a long term relationship. Every relationship goes through ebbs and flows, but drifting in in the ebb is not where you want to be. Spoiler alert:  work needs to be put in from both partners to keep the excitement alive.

Long-term ebb feels like you are so used to each other that your relationship is on auto-pilot.  I guess you could say that everything is just predictable and habits or patterns are formed that really dampen the spontaneity in the relationship.

Are you stuck in awkward silences and have another date night dread with nothing to say to each other? You need to figure out if it is the spice and the emotional connection that needs to be re-ignited or if the pheromones left the building. 

“A complete absence of fun in your relationship can be reflected by your tendency to focus on the monotony of your relationship. Normally, routine and structure are beneficial”, says Dr Binita Amin, a clinical psychologist. But, she says, “If we are struggling to find things to look forward to as a couple, or wishing back to the ‘good old days,’ it might be time to re-examine the script.”

All change starts with self and knowing who you are and what you want. However, sometimes circumstances leave you with little choice and making it work is the only way. PS: it must be a healthy relationship in this case. 

With that said, my first suggestion to be introspective: focus on you, how do you feel and if the love in the relationship is worth the fight. If it is, then let’s get to exploring who you are and how you could ignite the fire in you. 

For the purposes of this article I will stick to the archetype 3 phases every woman goes through the Innocent, Nurturer and The Sage in life to best explore where you are right now in this relationship series.

The Innocent

You are in a relationship that is not decades old and you are on the fence about the relationship, not quite sure what to do next, leave or stay?

Practicing mindfulness is a great starting point. Sharpen your focus and zone in on your emotions. Be mindful of when you see your partner after a long day, when your partner speaks to you, texts you and smiles at you, how does it make you feel?

These should give you a good indicator as to how much you want to fight for this. If you feel it’s worth it, spice things up by sending unexpected flirty and slightly provocative texts.

I know you rolling your eyes and thinking where do you even start. You are thinking, “Will you say the wrong thing? Will you come off as cheesy? Will you be misinterpreted?” Admittedly, flirting over text message can be harder than a one-on-one conversation, but it sets a great foundation to increase the heat. 

The aim is not to make you look like a fool, but rather to jolt your partner into action.

If it is physical action that you need, try these:

  •       It’s impossible to get any work done today because I can’t stop thinking about you.
  •       You’re going to love the outfit I want to wear tonight.
  •       If you send me a sexy selfie, I might send one back.
  •       If you kiss my neck, I’ll do anything you say. Knowledge is power, so use it wisely.
  •       This text entitles you to one kiss on the body part of your choice. Choose wisely…
  •       Hey! Stop thinking about me so much! There was a reason why I didn’t wear panties today!

If it is an emotional connection that you need, try these:

  •       Thinking about that funny story you told me when we were at (a specific place or time) I need a laugh today! I need to hear it again.
  •       That childhood story you told me about (fill in a summary version) got me thinking how connected I felt to you in that moment. I would like to create more of those moments…got a story to tell you.
  •       Let’s cook something exotic tonight, can’t wait to hear about your day.

New relationships bring two people with their own ideals and history of interests together, and while it is fun to introduce and be introduced to each other’s passions, finding a new hobby together can be a fulfilling experience and help grow the fundamentals of your relationship. My partner and I discovered a new interest in plants – while I have cultivated a love of indoor plants, he has started a vegetable garden and together we spend time researching, growing and collecting new species. Having no prior experience in this shared hobby, it feels like a shared adventure that we can both take pride in.

While sharing time with your partner is good fun, especially in the beginning as you get to know each other, it is also worthwhile setting boundaries that allow each of you to have your own time and space, so that you are not dependant on each other for life’s excitements – this can be the death of spontaneity, with familiarity being gained too fast. Keeping the mystery alive as long as possibly keeps your relationship feeling fresh. No one wants to be 6 months into a relationship and already arguing about mundane domesticity. I still want to discover which Spotify playlists have my partner dancing around the kitchen on a Sunday morning, not bickering who’s turn it is to do the dishes. 

Give it a try you might learn volumes about yourself and your partner and ignite the fire in you and your relationship. 

We will continue the exploration of the three women archetypes in a relationship in our next article. Follow our page so you don’t miss out!